ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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