Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
