My friends, they love my intelligence
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
