I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
