So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
