Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
