Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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