Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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