something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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