Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
