I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
