It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
