I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a search helicopter?!
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize