ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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