Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
