well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
