If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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