I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
