I look better un-naked...
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
