yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize