Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
