I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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