I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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