I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
