Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
