Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
