I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
