Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
