I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
