you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
so let's talk penis.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
