Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
