my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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