I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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