her vagine was all disorganized.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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