He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Be still, my beating vagina.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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