i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
