I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
