I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize