p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
We are all done wearing pants today
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
