week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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