i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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