I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
