what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
