I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
