benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
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the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
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6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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