apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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