Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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