I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
