the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
