i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i think i have herpe
just one?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
