I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
