I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
