I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
