She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
