Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
