She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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