I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
