How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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