My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
