Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
