he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
