no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The struggles of a small town man whore
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
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