I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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