I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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