I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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