Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
