just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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