Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
