Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
So squirting runs in the family.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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