He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
