I cockslap morals
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are out for the taking
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize