I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
