things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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